When Jennifer’s mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Jennifer immediately recognized that she would take on the caregiving role. Caring for her mother felt like a natural extension of the care her parents had given her throughout her life.
Because of the nature of her mother’s illness, she is often homebound, which can be isolating for both of them. Her needs change from day to day, as do the tasks Jennifer helps with. Most often, Jennifer accompanies her mother to medical appointments, helps manage and track medications, and provides emotional support and companionship.
Jennifer has struggled to balance her mother’s cultural needs with the care she receives. For example, her mother’s diet is highly specific, yet the guidance and meals provided by the medical team during hospital visits are based on a Western diet that does not align with her preferences. Jennifer believes her mother deserves dignity and the comfort of eating familiar foods throughout her care, but communicating this need within the health system has often been difficult.
When Jennifer became a caregiver, she was able to leave her job to provide full-time care for her mother. While this allowed her to be present, it also changed their mother–daughter relationship. Jennifer sometimes feels that caregiving consumes her entire life, and she struggles with the emotional shift of being the one responsible for her mother’s health rather than the other way around. Practicing self-care has become essential for her well-being.
The caregiving community gives Jennifer hope. When she became a caregiver, she connected with others who shared similar experiences and were willing to offer knowledge, empathy, and support. Caregiving is a natural part of being human, and the community built around it provides strength, comfort, connection, and helps elevate a culture that values caregiving.
“It can be difficult to explain to everyone – the healthcare team, even my mother – the intersection of needs she has as an elderly Asian woman. There are cultural expectations/preferences. For example, for things like her diet. The food the US healthcare system provides doesn’t take into account the dignity she deserves in living her life the way that she wants to and eating the food she wants to eat.”
“As more people inevitably become caregivers, I’ve been really grateful for the humanity I’ve witnessed in willing to share what they’ve learned out of empathy for others. It really gives me hope that caregiving is a natural part of humanity.”